Well, as you can see from Patty’s added remarks to my blog from yesterday, despite my “trying,” the hours after my workout, and the remainder of the day, went down the toilet. So much for “trying” to be supportive and act like a cross between a cheerleader and a Marine Corps drill instructor!
“Meltdown,” is the term I would describe. I cried during my workout. I cried after my workout. I cried when I went to Jamba Juice to get a drink when one of my previous clients (now 19), who works there, came out to say she heard about me and was sorry to hear it. She told me about the positive influence I made in her life and how she’ll always appreciate that I really cared for, and was there for, her in the most difficult times of her life. I cried when I bumped into a friend after going to Jamba Juice.
I cried and cried and couldn’t stop, no matter how hard I “tried.” I feel a bit hypocritical as I write this because of my blog comments yesterday and the fact that despite my strongest efforts to “try” and keep the crying (DRAGON) away yesterday, I failed to do so.
“We,” the FTD’ers and families, are just subjected to this horrible disease. We are at the dragon’s mercy. Despite the crying yesterday and the depression/anxiety this morning, I still have to advocate for not giving in. In other words, I still have to stand by my word, “try.”
I was incapable of trying this morning due to my emotions. But, it’s early in the day, and I will try to do my workout later.
I now realize that it’s easy to give positive pep talks, with good intentions, but it feels phony when the person doing so can’t follow through with their own advice when things are tough!
That reminds me of the saying: “When the going gets tough, the tough get going.” Maybe, my “warrior’ will surface today and I’ll get going with my cheerleading advice from yesterday.