I am a deeply spiritual person with a solid and resounding faith in God. Throughout all of the challenges over the past five years, I have never felt that any of us were being forsaken. I have known that God is there with us each step of the way. As I lay here in bed trying to shut my brain down so I can fall asleep, I had the most panicky thought… “God, are you still there?”
It crossed my mind that I might be really naive and stupid and that Rich and I are floating out here on our own. Is that why we are going through all of this? I immediately thought, “Patty, no! You do not believe that is true.” My second thought was, “I feel so all alone.” The strangest panic welled up inside my heart and I wanted to get out of bed and run… run where? Anywhere. Anywhere but right here in my own head.
I think the thing people say to us the most is “we will keep you in our prayers.” I truly appreciate that sentiment and truly believe in the power of prayer, especially affirmative prayer in the form of spiritual treatment. In this moment in time, I would just like to feel so not alone. It’s midnight… maybe I’m just way over tired.