I’ve been sitting here contemplating why I haven’t written anything for the blog in awhile. I realized it is because Rich has been writing so much and I’m happy about that. I think it’s good for him to write about FTD. He has something to contribute to this horrid world of Frontotemporal Degeneration and I support his efforts. I love watching him be so articulate with his writing.
I also realize that I haven’t been writing because my “blogness’ has fallen into the same pattern that I live at home. It is all about Rich and his roller coaster of emotions. I don’t talk much about how I feel at any given moment… damn, I don’t talk much at home anymore at all. It is why I am grateful for our oldest daughter, Tara, and 6-year-old Ally, living with us. It gives me a reason to see something, and talk about anything, other than FTD.
One of the features of FTD is that the people struggling with it begin to cave into themselves. In the psychotherapy world, we refer to this as “egocentrism.” Little kids are egocentric. It is all about them and how they feel. There is a preoccupation with what they are doing, feeling, thinking and seeing. This happens with the ‘Frontotemporal Challenged.” (Hey, I just made that up… the politically correct term for those suffering with FTD… weak laugh follows.)
Egocentrism is not a moral selfishness as is narcissism. It is simply a developmental stage that, hopefully, a person outgrows as they mature. It is the belief that you are the center of the universe and everything revolves around you. The corresponding inability to see the world as someone else does and adapt to it.
Curious that FTD’ers, as Rich now calls them, become more and more egocentric as the disease progresses. Are they regressing to an earlier developmental state? Is it like getting kicked in the groin? It’s a little bit hard to think of anything else at the moment. I’m not sure. As a psychologist observing this “up close and personal,” it is interesting to watch. It is harder to live with it.